I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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