i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
