Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
