There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
