bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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