he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
