very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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