his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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