Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
