belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
