ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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