People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
