Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
