Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
