this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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