you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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