Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
