If that was your dad, he is hot
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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