I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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