The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
