Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
