i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
