i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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