Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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