there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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