Yo dont text me then not text me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
