My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
