I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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