the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
