clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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