I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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