You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
