Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
