i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
