roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
