shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
