I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
