More tranny stories later!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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