If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
worst night to have a conscience
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
