Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
