He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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