He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
