Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
