so that wasnt chicken after all
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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