help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
