we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
