so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
