dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
