you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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