Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
