the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
