I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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