you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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