uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
