everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
