Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
