Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
